The Sweetest Sins

2011

2011-12-30T18:33:00.002+08:00

2011 is the year that went by so fast, maybe a little too fast.

It's the year your so called friend walks out of your life and it's the year you realised who the real ones are.

It's the year you felt the most pressure to the point where you gave up so many times but you're still learning how to get back up.

It's the year you said you were going to accomplish great things yet you feel like you just wasted time.

It's the year you cried over too many pointless things, too many times.

It's the year you look back on all the lifetime memories in which you find yourself missing the people in them.

But it's also the year you move on slowly, and you realised that, it is okay.

if, & only if...

2011-10-24T03:43:00.001+08:00

If I could tell you how I really felt, the world would be off of my shoulders.

If I could live all my days without the reminders, all my smiles would be real.

If I didn’t have to worry about the future instead of what is going on today,

I would probably be able to breathe.

Black is Back with Arthur’s Day 2011

2011-09-08T22:33:00.003+08:00

Arthur Guinness, the man behind the one of the most successful beer brands worldwide.

Guinness is brewed in almost 50 countries and sells 1.8 billion pints yearly.

Guinness is probably the best damn drink invented for human kind!

To honor this great man, we will be celebrating Arthur’s Day this 23rd September!

Come on and join all of us on this worldwide celebration with Arthur’s Day!

It’s going to be the party of the YEAR!

TAIO CRUZ is performing the night itself, bringing us hits like ‘Break Your Heart’, ‘Dynamite’ & ‘Higher’.

Not only are we seeing Taio Cruz performing, they will also be featuring the local music act!

Prema Yin, Naked Breed, Rosevelt, Dragon Red, Jin Hackman (ft. CSBTEA) & James Baum will stand a chance to perform on the same stage as Taio Cruz, too.

The Malaysia’s Top 2 favourites will be chosen based on the votes online & on ground at various performance venue! So vote now for your favourite to open for Arthur’s Day. Vote HERE now!

Details of Arthur’s Day are as below,

Date: 23 September 2011 (Friday)

Time: 6 pm onwards

Venue: Speed City KL, Selangor Turf Club

(Location)

I'm so excited to see Taio Cruz perform in front of my eye!

Besides, this party is going to be an experience money never buy!

Be a part of this celebration, win yourself passes from Guinness Malaysia or Nuffnang!

Those passes are so exclusive you can only win them!

So people, start winning passes & I’ll see all of you there!

TO ARTHUR!!

farewell to you ♥

2011-09-02T02:19:00.002+08:00

It's been a while since I actually wrote something like this, I don't remember writing any farewell note for anyone on my blog. Here's to you, Regina Tan, the girl I can always run to whenever there's any shit going on, she'll be the calmest and always trying to assure me things will be just fine.

I know Pahang is not far from Penang, and it's only an hour ride from KL but the fact that you are leaving away from this island to somewhere else to study, makes me feel like as though we are all growing up, leaving, one by one. That feeling makes me just want to stay young forever. I'm sure you are eager to start your uni life after the 9 months break.

Remember how we met? We used to be good friends in Standard 3 and then this "funny" dream I had of us kinda drifted us apart. Funny how after a year, we end up still being best friends. Fate, I guess. Having you as my (best) friend have always been an accomplishment to me. Twelve years, it's definitely an accomplishment to me, knowing me, I get tired/sick of people/things easily and after 12 damn years we are still as close as ever, I really thank God for that.

I know I wrote this on the card but thank you for being the great friend you are, I'm proud to be your friend. Thank you for always standing by me, especially through all the tantrums I've thrown to get things the way I want. Thank you for always making time for me even when you already have plans and fetching me, all the time. Thank you too for driving back my car after the accident, I'm sorry I haven't drove you out after that, I promise I will drive you next time ok? That's my promise to you! Anywhere you want, anytime (after 2012 that is) LOL!

Gina, take care there! Don't feel sad or lonely (though it might be unavoidable for the first few days), you have your iPad with you, look at all the funny pictures inside whenever you're down alright? Remember you'll always have us, always.

Wishing you all the best for the start of your uni life!

Will miss you.

xx ♥

one of the worst feeling

2011-08-10T00:35:00.002+08:00

I’ve always hated being left behind.

Whether or not any spoken form of goodbye is uttered, whether or not it’s for the best, whether or not I know the person’s bound to come back soon, being left behind always makes me feel like my heart’s getting wrenched out of my chest.

No matter how many times I’m reassured about how the goodbyes are for my own good, I just can’t stop the tears from coming and I end up wishing I never even met those people to begin with. I curse and I scream, I push the person away then beg that person to stay. I spend each damn day and night trying to keep myself afloat, and trying to drown out that hollow feeling that just makes me feel like crap. Funny how everything that made sense can fall apart with one person’s goodbye.

People come and go, that is very much true.

I should probably be used to it by now.

But I’m not & I probably never will be.

Heck, I know I sound like an emotionally unstable kid right now but this is me.

happy birthday ♥

2011-08-02T23:45:00.000+08:00

Happy 20th Birthday girl :)

This is specially dedicated to you, my closest most annoying and noisy best friend. Funny how we became close, seriously, 11 years down the road and we're still as close (or even closer). We've been through quite a lot, all the dramas and shits, glad we made it through. I was reading back the post I wrote for you 3 years ago, and I laughed, you're STILL annoying me with your whys and what ifs.

Anyway, thank you for always being there, staying online till late night just to make me feel better, driving all the way to my house though you are kinda road blind and annoying my soul to make me laugh.

I love you! Don't ever forget that & I hope you had a great birthday.

be really proud 'cause honestly, I barely do this nowadays.

♥

strangers, again

2011-07-29T05:02:00.003+08:00

I'm lying to myself. I give myself false hope and false expectations that never match up to reality. I twist circumstances around in my mind to make them seem better than they actually are. I think too much about the smallest, most insignificant gestures and blow them up like balloons and float around in this euphoric bubble of what could be and what I want to happen, and am always so let down by what I'm left with, an almost, could-be, maybe situation. I think too much into a smile and catching someone's eye from across the room. I think too much into an accidental hand brushing and prolonged eye contact. I tell myself that it can still happen, and I cling to the tiniest litter glimmers of hope, even though I know that there's a little itch I can't scratch that tells me that I'm wrong and that I can't make something out of nothing. I'm living in this fantasy world, where happy endings do exist, and the boy and the girl always do end up together. I'm tricking myself into thinking that we're perfect for each other when in reality, we may as well be strangers.

I Can't Remember...

2011-07-26T00:45:00.003+08:00

I am trying to remember

Remember what makes me happy

I have forgotten how to be.

This is making my brain hurt

You're not supposed to forget how to feel the best feeling in the world.

You are supposed to be able to forget stupid, sad feelings.

I am going through thousands and millions of memories.

Running them through in my head.

I can't.... remember

Uncertainty

2011-07-22T02:55:00.000+08:00

You know what your problem is?

You get attached, fast & once you're attached to someone, you do everything you can to please them and make them happy. It's never been about what you want, it's always everyone's needs before your own. You give out too many chances to people, who quite frankly, do not deserve them. They take advantage of you & you become a pushover. But you're okay with that, because they're in your life and that's all you ever really wanted & even if they screw you over, you'll still be there for them. Because that's you, that's who you are. Once you get attached to someone, they capture your heart and they always have a place there. That is why it's so hard for you to let them go.

He wrote that in the e-mail.

I am not a pushover.

I do fight for what I want.

selfish

2011-06-26T22:33:00.003+08:00

I just have to say it once— you just have to hear it. I love you, ~~Elena~~... and it's because I love you and... I can't be selfish with you. Why you can't know this— I don't deserve you. ~~But my brother does~~... God, I wish you didn't have to forget this... but you do.

-Damon Salvatore in The Vampire Diaries

Close.

2011-06-12T02:08:00.003+08:00

At the end of the day, when it comes down to it, all we really want is to be close to somebody. So this thing where we all keep our distance and pretend not to care about each other, it’s usually a load of bull. So we pick and choose who we want to remain close to, and once we have chosen those people, we tend to stick close by. No matter how much they hurt you.

Just because I'm used to it, doesn't mean it doesn't hurt anymore.

You always do it; so routinely like it didn't matter to you.

It feels like even if I vanish off the Earth, you won't even notice.

Change

2011-06-07T23:26:00.002+08:00

Change is good nor bad, it is neither savage nor wise. It is either constructive or destructive. But without change, we are stuck, rooted and stagnant. We neither take a step forward nor backward. We play life safely, afraid of uncertainties and possibilities. With change comes responsibilities and consequences, it may hurt at first but eventually we will learn, and as we learn, we will grow and as we grow, we will know that this change we chose was right instead of repose. So take a risk, take a chance, make a change & live a life.

maybe I’m a masochist...

2011-06-04T21:41:00.003+08:00

I need to stop clinging on to this. All I am now doing is clutching at straws and I wish I could just accept this and move on. I really wish you would show me no attention. Each time you do, the word 'maybe' comes back into play and I am sick of torturing myself with the thoughts of possibilities. Never have I been more confused by one person. I don't know how you've managed to gain this control, this control you quite clearly have which I still cannot admit to myself. God knows why I would follow you to the end of this Earth but the forces are all there. I don't even know why you stand out above the rest, why you are the first to be noticed, why your words weigh more than that of any other. All you ever do is make me insecure and aware of my inadequacy. You will ask me why I am afraid and why I hide from you. It is because I am not brave and I know I will always lack the courage I should have. It is because I am so helplessly average in every way, whilst you remain endlessly interesting and I am ugly through and through when you are charming and I am awkward and you are so ceaselessly endearing. And all in all much too good for me. I am so hopelessly boring that I could never give you the excitement and passion and perfection that you seek. I will let you down in the way I have done every other time because I am fickle and I am weak and indecisive. And it is you that makes me want to be everything that I am not, because you look for something I don't possess. You have always dreamed of something, someone far better than me. When my words bore you, when you ignore me, all I can do is to blame myself for not being interesting enough. I can give myself to others; I have more options than I could ever care for, but this lack of closure means that emotionally I can't do anything because I cannot completely eliminate the possibility of you. I'm sick of your reflective eyes forever staring into mine, tormenting me with their perfection. I'm sick of that captivating smile, there's nothing to beat it. I'm sick of everything I know I can never do and never be. Knowing that the one time I am certain of what I want, it is completely unattainable.

Seattle

2011-05-17T03:00:00.001+08:00

Who else would be

Calling me at 3 am

Just to tell me

You're still there

The sky's still falling

Tell me what you

Need to hear this time to make it count

Jason Walker

It Ends, before it Begins

2011-05-14T06:30:00.004+08:00

Look at us,

We’re arguing & we’re not even together.
We’re jealous & we can’t even claim each other.
We’re clingy & we’re not even attached to each other like that.
We’re doubtful when it’s still too soon.
We’re crying when we really shouldn’t be.

& I have a feeling, we’re about to end, before we even get a chance to begin.

♥

was I the only one?

2011-05-12T01:35:00.000+08:00

Was I the only one who fell in love?

There never really was the two of us

Maybe my all just wasn't good enough

Was I the only one, only one in love?

As I walk down the hall I see the place on the wall

Where the picture of us used to be

I fight back these tears 'cause I still feel you here

How could you walk out so easily?

♥

missing you

2011-04-23T04:15:00.002+08:00

Missing someone isn’t about how long it has been since you last seen them or the amount of time you’ve talked.

It’s about that very moment when you find yourself doing something & wishing they were right there by your side.

Here I am, lying on the bed.

Thinking of you, hoping you're doing fine there.

Missing you.

Wishing you were right here.

pieces of the history

2011-04-23T03:50:00.003+08:00

Once in my past, I remember holding a hand so tight thinking that it would be mine for the rest of my life. I gave my whole heart and built my future around him, and solely on what he wants. He's the reason of all my actions. One day, I had to let him go, I had to let go of his hand. Let everything I built go, leaving the future so vague. I want to hold on so bad but things went downhill. We went separate ways, I wished him the best. Hoping someone would give him the best that I failed to give.

I am sorry.

future travel list part 1

2011-04-21T03:55:00.006+08:00

I just had a really random thought of creating my own future travel list.

I never had an official travel list before as I didn't really have any specific place I want to visit.

Now, the urge is back and I can't wait to list down a few places I'll really love to visit!

1. Greece

Mykonos

Santorini

Both the islands of Santorini and Mykonos is a must see in Greece. Santorini is one of the most romantic island in Greece, it was formed by a volcano eruption in the 1500 BC. Mykonos offers the best nightlife in Greece and their golden sandy beaches are to die for <3 I really like the white houses too. It's so prettyyy!

2. Italy

Venice

Rome

Milan

Florence

Italy is definitely a must visit for me, Rome especially, Vatican City ftw! Overdose of Angels&Demons. There's Venice, I will want to go there with my significant other in the future! Milan is the city of fashion, so you know lah. The city of Florence is the birthplace of Italian Renaissance, being able to see the real city is definitely an honor. Italy have amazing cities and I can't wait to step foot in them!

I will love to continue posting, but its 4.50am and I'm getting too lazy to find pictures.

Guess I'll just have to continue next time ;)

Don't worry, it won't be long from now.

easily gone;

2011-03-15T22:50:00.000+08:00

I am incredibly awkward and negative. I get attached easily, and I hold on for too long. I don't like opening up to people. Any 5 years old children can express their feelings better than me. I'm terrified of being hurt. I tend to act older than I am. I'm probably one of the most difficult people you will ever meet. But I can be sweet, I'm a great listener. I'll guard your secrets with my life if I have to. I will never judge you based on your mistakes & I'll love you as much as I can. I can be, if you let me, one of the best things in your life.

fighter ?

2011-02-26T22:57:00.004+08:00

Where did all the carefree laughs go? Now there's nothing but ~~anger and~~ bitterness in our friendship. And right now, I'm the glue that's holding us together. You have no trouble letting us go, letting our friendship go. But I believe if someone is important enough to impact and change your life, then they are worth fighting for. But I'm fighting alone. You're ready, I'm not. And sooner or later, I will have to stop and let go. Will you miss me? Will you ever realize what you've lost? Or am I truly just another person in your life that comes and goes? Am I truly not important enough to keep in your life?

what is on my mind?

2011-02-18T12:44:00.000+08:00

I’m fucking tired. I’m tired of caring for people who don’t give a shit about me. I’m tired of waiting for a text that’s never going to come. I’m tired of thinking things will be different, yet they never change. I’m tired of giving out chances only to be let down. I’m tired of putting forth 100% of an effort and only getting 25% in return. I’m tired of broken promises. I’m tired of let downs by people who matter most to me. I’m tired of making someone a priority, when in reality I’m just a number to them. I’m tired of shitty friend who are never there for me. I’m tired of self centered assholes, who only manipulate a situation from their own perspective, never even thinking about what someone is going through. I’m so tired of the same old bullshit over and over again.

breakaway

2011-01-24T04:15:00.000+08:00

I don’t know what happened.

How we all became so fragile, so incredibly breakable.

I don’t know why my tears can fall so easily - yet every single one feels like I’m failing at this facade of being happy, ‘fine’, and alive.

I don’t understand how missing someone can quietly kill you & how an ~~unrequited love~~, just robs you of this sense of hope we all should have.

I can’t comprehend how everyone thinks I’m so strong, and brave, when all I feel is weak and scared.

I don’t know when this happened, when life became like this.

Because looking back - it’s always been this way.

The words between us were silenced weeks ago.

Isn't it strange how that happens?

You can really care about someone unconditionally, put all of yourself into a friendship that leaves you bruised and raw, yet you persisted and stay for a long time until one day, it is gone.

We didn't last forever and we won’t ever stumble into one another again.

But we gave an undeniable effort.

A painstaking lesson in what it means to give someone everything and expect nothing in return.

vulnerable

2011-01-05T04:14:00.000+08:00

I hate being so fragile. I hate taking everything so personally. I hate that the littlest things get to me more than things that should actually matter.

The truth is that I’m still a lost soul waiting to be found. But even when I am found, I’ll never truly be found because I don’t think I’ll ever even know who I really am.

I find it hard to believe

2011-01-02T01:09:00.002+08:00

It’s the scary to realize just how much someone means to you. When it hits you, I mean really hits you, all these thoughts and questions rush through your head at once. A sad emotion even starts to creep on you slowly inch by inch as you start to wonder.

What if for some reason things don’t work out? How is it possible for you to live without them?

Someone that was once a stranger now is the only person you know like the back of your hand. Someone you once had no emotions for, now has the power to break your heart. Someone you never used to hang out with, now owns most of your time. Someone you never thought you’d love, now owns your entire heart. Someone you once lived without, you now wish to hold onto forever.

Stranger

2010-12-30T13:40:00.001+08:00

To everyone who reads this,

I want to tell you that you are beautiful. You really are. Don’t let anyone tell you or make you feel otherwise. You are worth everything. I know that sometimes you may feel alone and as if your whole world is falling apart, but just believe. Have faith that everything is going to be okay. Remember that there is a solution to everything. I have faith in you. I really do. You can be anyone you want to be and accomplish your biggest goals if you try hard enough. Lastly, please don’t forget to smile more often. Happy people are the prettiest people.

P.S - always remember that you are loved.

what do you know? Nothing.

2010-12-27T05:21:00.005+08:00

I constantly wonder how my life looks in other people’s eyes.

Do they think I have it easy?

Do they think I have nothing going on for myself?

Or are they fascinated with who I am?

The thing is that no one will ever know my whole story.

No one will ever know the things I’ve had to overcome.

Not even my closest friends, not even my own family.

The thing is that people are so quick to judge nowadays.

You only see a person from what they want and allow you to see.

I always try to look as put together as I can, and I guess that’s my way of hiding from the truth.

It’s just that, the way everyone will assume that everything in my life is okay.

That I never go through anything.

If only everyone knew how broken I am, and how I’m holding on for dear life on this one last strand that’s recently become very delicate.

The truth is that no one really knows me.

No one will ever know me, and sometimes that scares me, because no one will ever know why I am the way I am.

One of those nights; imy ♥

2010-12-24T04:14:00.002+08:00

It is late nights like this that are the worst. You stay up all night, and can’t get yourself to fall asleep, so all you can do is think, think about everything. Everything that you have been through in your life and as always, it’s mostly the bad things that stand out the most. You reminisce the good times you've had with people that no longer exist in your life. You think about how much happier you used to be and how everything was better before. It is nights like this when you realize just how lonely you are, and how you wish that things would be alright for once.

broken till nothing's left; vanished.

2010-12-22T01:18:00.003+08:00

Half the people you know are broken. Not all in the same way, but in their own unique way. They wake up and feel some sort of pain too. But some people don’t feel the pain, some block it out, cover it up until they no longer can distinguish it’s there.

I hate that feeling. The feeling when you’re sad but you have no idea why. You just are. And in your mind, you’re thinking of all the bad things in your life and apply it to your emotions, making you even more sad. Then people ask you what’s wrong and you have nothing to say. You end up sitting there, quiet, while it seems as if everyone, but you, is happy.

love

2010-12-11T17:40:00.003+08:00

Have you ever met THE person? That one person that you’d do anything for just to make them smile. Time is never wasted as long as when you’re with that person. That one who’s company you enjoy more than others. Just the thought of that one person brings a smile to your face. Even just the sight of them makes your day that much better. They do so much more, that just makes your heart beat a little bit faster, and makes your stomach have that many more butterflies. Overall, you can say you are in love with them. You love that person with all your heart.

But what’s the problem? You don’t want to risk your friendship. As much as you’d love to take your relationship with him/her to the next level, you’re scared to. Why? Because what if that person doesn’t feel the same way as you? That would ruin the friendship, and you’d lose that one person you loved the most. Your heart is practically gone if that were to happen. You love the person too much to let your own feelings get in the way of the friendship. You’d rather suffer the pain of not taking the risk rather than losing him/her for good.

Time passes by and you see that person love someone else. Hurts, a lot. You lost your chance with that one person you get to be with. Sure, your still friends with them, but was all that pain worth what you’re going through now? Seeing someone you love, love someone else? Was all that time, making sure that you’ll be friends no matter what, worth not taking that risk and making each other as happy as can be? Was not taking that risk worth it? You thought that only being “stuck” as his/her friend, would the only way you could have him/her forever.

But all that doesn’t matter now, does it? You love him/her so much, that you’d do anything just to see him/her happy. You’re going to let your feelings suffer (once again) just to know that he/she will be happy. It doesn’t matter anymore that they’re with someone else, you just care for his/her well-being. It hurts so much knowing that you’ve “lost” him/her just because you were too scared to take that chance. Because those stupid “What if”s held you back. Now you’re stuck with the “What if”s of doing it differently like telling that person your feelings. What if you did? What if you were the reason for the smile on his/her face? What if you were the reason that he/she woke up to you every morning? The last thought on his/her mind before going to bed? What if you’re the reason for their happiness? Now these questions haunt you if you did take that risk. But it doesn’t matter anymore.

I love you

2010-11-27T13:05:00.002+08:00

This isn't for anybody in particular. Just, whoever is reading this. If you don't feel loved, or if you've been having a rough time with things and you're ready to give up, or if you just feel like shit for no reason right now, or if your "friends" are treating you like shit, know that there is someone out there who is thinking about you and wants you to be okay. Even if all you want to do is give up, or crawl into your bed with the covers pulled over yourself and cry, remember that you aren't alone. Even if you feel like you are, you aren't. Know that if I could be there with you, I would, and I would hug you and tell you that it was going to be okay until you believe it. Because no matter how far-fetched it seems, you will be okay and I hope you chose to stick around long enough for you to see that it is the truth. Remember that I am just a call or text away and it doesn't matter how late/early it is, I would gladly stay up talking to you until you feel calm enough to sleep. I will always be here and that is not an empty promise. I am never going to leave. People suck a lot and they don't give a damn about anyone but themselves and they might just get up and leave one day, but I'm not going to. I will always, always be here. And you will get through tonight and all of the other shitty nights to come, because everybody has them. But never forget that someone will always love you. No matter what.

Just thought I should say that.

SHOUT AWARDS 2010

2010-11-24T09:43:00.004+08:00

The Shout Awards 2010 was held at Putra Indoor Stadium, Bukit Jalil last Saturday. It is a TV special award ceremony event dedicated to give recognition to those who have made great impact and creative breakthrough in Malaysian music, film, TV and radio industry.

This year's big winner is YUNA!! & anyway here's the list of winners for Shout Award 2010!

Best Rockstar Award : Bunkface

Favourite TV Personality Award : Zizan Raja Lawak

Breakthrough Local Feature Award : Lagenda Budak Setan

Best Popstar Award : Yuna

Power Vocal Award : Faizal Tahir

Fresh TV Series Award : Nur Kasih

Favourite TV Program Award : Showdown 2010

Music Video Award : Bunkface

Flava Award : Mizz Nina

Hot Guy Award : Henry Golding

Hot Chick Award : Scha Al-Yahya

Coolest Radio Announcer Award : Phat Fabes

Favourite Radio Show Award : Hot FM AM Crew

Best On-Screen Chemistry Award : Afdlin Shauki and Liyana Jasmay (Papadom)

Mobile Artiste of The Year Award : Sixth Sense

Break Out Award : Yuna

Ultimate ShoutAward : Yuna

zomg, yes, HENRY GOLDING won the HOT GUY AWARD *droolssss*

& Mizz Nina bagged the FLAVA AWARD this year! awesome!

THANK YOU CELCOM XPAX & SIRENS MEDIA FOR THIS AMAZING EVENT!

always have been ♥

2010-11-19T23:11:00.000+08:00

I don’t know what happened. How we all became so fragile, so incredibly breakable. I don’t know why my tears can fall so easily - yet every single one feels like I’m failing at this facade of being happy, ‘fine’, and alive. I don’t understand how missing someone can quietly kill you & how an unrequited love, just robs you of this sense of hope we all should have. I can’t comprehend how everyone thinks I’m so strong, and brave, when all I feel is weak and scared. I don’t know when this happened, when life became like this. Because looking back - it’s always been this way.

Singapore Property Website

2010-11-17T10:22:00.002+08:00

I have written about Propwall before in my blog months ago as I was searching for a place to stay when I first moved to KL but Propwall only covered Malaysia. For those who plans to move to Singapore or for those who is already in Singapore, there’s a new website for you people! Check out Singapore Property in Singapore Propwall for better coverage on the Singapore Property!

This site has more than 100 Singapore Property Analysis and more than 1000 pictures of the property as well.

The homepage of Singapore Property

Once you reach the homepage, you will be greeted with all the beautiful property images with their names and links to a more thorough page. Besides, just like the Malaysia Propwall there will be a list of Top 20 Properties on the bottom left of the page. You can click on the links to get further details of the Top 20 Properties in Singapore.

In Propwall Singapore, all you need to do is just type the name of your favoured property or if you’re not sure which property you want, you can browse through all the properties they have in store. You can start search based on the locations you want to, it is as simple as that! Once you found the property of your choice, all you need to do is just fill in your name, e-mail and contact number on the box on the bottom of the page so the agent can easily contact you.

Easy right?

Faster, visit Singapore Property website to find the property of your dreams! :D

Celcom XPLAY Shout!

2010-11-17T03:16:00.002+08:00

Do you remember the XPLAY SHOUT post I posted weeks ago?

Xplay Shout! is a pre-show party for the Shout! Awards, it was held at The Library at e@Curve last Saturday!

This is the amount of people lining up to get in.

Yup it was free flow all night long too! :D

the place was totally full house and packed. Everyone was enjoying the performances by Hujan, Disagree, DJ Ash and finally......

MIZZ NINA leading the crowd!

This is the winner of the Battle of the Bands

Conclusion, this was one hell of a great party by Celcom XPAX!

See you all in the Shout! Awards this Saturday!

I SUPPORT [TCMAINE]

2010-11-14T19:12:00.001+08:00

I SUPPORT [TCMAINE]

smashpop.net

it is what it is

2010-11-03T17:15:00.001+08:00

Too long we've been denying

Now we're both tired of trying

We hit a wall and we can't get over it

Nothing to relive

It's water under the bridge

You said it, I get it

I guess it is what it is

someday we'll know...

2010-10-31T15:34:00.001+08:00

I kinda miss the bond we shared. I mean, who wouldn't miss that comfortable feeling with a person. Where we could talk for hours about everything, anything and not have a problem with the silence in the middle. Can't forget all the ridiculous stuff we did. Stupid or not, everything was just so fun. Endless nights, real talks, the "remember whens" I remember it all. And it's funny what life does, how it could just give you things and take it away so soon. I really can't get it to my head that you grow distant from people and that good things come to an end sooner or later. But along the way I learned one thing about life; it goes on, you just gotta pick yourself up and learn to keep up.

you don't know how it hurts

2010-10-24T23:23:00.001+08:00

You don’t know how you’re affecting my life. We don’t even have to be in a relationship for you to hurt me like this. I am trying to stay away from you, I am trying to repress my feelings for you. But I can’t.

Passion to PARTY + MUSIC = XPLAY

2010-10-22T11:14:00.002+08:00

XPLAY bring you the parties like never before, with the beyond-imagination line-ups and awesome music to leave you the best and most memorable nights you will ever have!

The SHOUT! Awards is brought to you by CELCOM!

It is an entertainment award show to recognizes people in the Malaysia entertainment industry.

Besides there will be a pre-show party, XPLAY SHOUT! Happening at The Library e@curve on 13 November!

Are you excited yet? Yes? No?

DISAGREE will be there! Not only them, there will also be local acts like HUJAN, MIZZ NINA & DJ ASH !!

So…. WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR?

Get your free invitation now!

First, LIKE the Xpax Facebook in www.facebook.com/xpaxfb and click on the “XPLAY” tab.

Second, register for a FREE invitation.

Yes, it is that easy!

First 150 customers to register on XPAX Facebook will get Free Drinks as well! (If you are an Xpax or U.O.X. member, you’ll get 2 drinks!)

WAITT!!!

You can also get FREE passes to SHOUT! AWARDS!

How?

Just download 3 Call Me Tone of the Mobile Content Award 2010 nominess from www.channelx.com.my and stand a chance to win free passes to attend Shout! Awards on 20 November 2010!!

Just A Feeling

2010-10-19T21:45:00.000+08:00

You know that feeling? When you're just waiting. Waiting to get home, into your room, close the door, fall into bed, and just let everything out that you kept in all day. That feeling of both relief and desperation. Nothing is wrong. But nothing is right either. And you're tired. Tired of everything, tired of nothing. And you just want someone to be there and tell you it's okay. But no one's going to be there. And you know you have to be strong for yourself, because no one can fix you. But you're tired of waiting. Tired of having to be the one to fix yourself and everyone else. Tired of being strong. And for once, you just want it to be easy. To be simple. To be helped. To be saved. But you know you won't be. But you're still hoping. And you're still wishing. And you're still staying strong and fighting, with tears in your eyes. You're fighting.

at one point, you really just wished you can stop fighting and let it all go.

Let it wash away all the pain and doubtfulness of your life.

I'm sorry that I always have this fear that one day you are going to discover that I am not as great as you once thought I was & you will leave me, so I always do my best to impress you to end up making a fool out of myself.

I just hope that you miss me a little when I'm gone.

Just a little is enough.

darkness prevails

2010-10-13T23:27:00.003+08:00

there comes a point when you tell people your problem and all they do is just nod and pretend to care.

so much for having good friends (that don't care)

I know one day I'll read this and laugh at how stupid I am.

to believe anyone in this world will actually care about what I say or do.

to have the slightest hope that people are nice. (maybe they are, just not to me)

correct me if I'm wrong.

I have friends that never care.

thats why I existed.

thats why it came back.

& honestly, it doesn't hurt anymore.

I'm too chicken to walk away from everything.... just yet

call me self-pity.

I'm over that phase that I actually cares about what people think.

It'll only push me further to let go.

#emopost2

Statements

2010-10-11T23:48:00.002+08:00

I realized that even though I am surrounded by people who love me, I still feel alone. Unneeded, unwanted, and really confused. I also hate a lot of things that I should probably appreciate.

I over think every single thing. I end up making myself miserable thinking into things. I have gained this terrible habit of not believing what people say to me. I also worry that I'm being lied to and that all the good things are in my head. I'm sorry, I don't mean to. I think I just need to learn how to trust people again.

I tend to shy away from what I really want. I dissect it, see how it works. What it will do to me, for me, against me, and I hate it. I mean, I can’t stop. This is why I’m not happy. I try to avoid pain, pretending I’m saving myself when, in reality, it only hurts more. I act as though I’m saving myself in some sick way. I’m too afraid to stop, though. I think that if I can’t control anything, I won’t make it out alright.

You don’t know me. You don’t know anything about me. You don’t know how I feel, or what is going on inside my head, every second of everyday. I wish you could see how much it all hurts.

Trust me, I know how it feels. I know exactly how it feels to cry in the shower so no one can hear you. I know what it's like to wait for everyone to be asleep so you can just fall apart, for everything to hurt so bad you're ready to let it all end. Trust me. I know exactly how it feels.

when the light goes off

2010-10-08T22:20:00.002+08:00

No, I’m not suicidal, really. I just want to feel the adrenaline rush, all my life I have been trying to do things to get me killed and also get my heart pumping fast, I want to cross the highway with my eyes closed, I want to go skydiving even with a height phobia, I want to drive more than 160km/h on a busy road (not that I haven’t). But now, with all this little petty issue, it’s really pushing me to the edge. I would like to dive into the apartment swimming pool from the 19th floor just to see if I will survive, even knowing almost impossible for the human race in this world to survive the fall/dive. Honestly, I am not suicidal. I’m not killing myself.

Death; scares me, but one day I’m afraid I’d overcome this fear because this is not the first time anymore. As the clock is ticking, there are even more thoughts flooding over my mind, like it has a mind of its own, telling myself to walk away from everything. What scares me is just that one day, I just might...

I’m not suicidal, I’m just a hypocrite.

Updated.

2010-10-08T00:00:00.000+08:00

Today I decided to update my blog. Today, I decided to write something to remind myself. I am scared I will forget, everything, I am scared I will mix what’s real and what’s not up. I am afraid I cannot differentiate between what’s right and wrong anymore, or worst, what I really feel because I think I’m slowly forgetting how it feels like to feel, real.

I am not happy, about anything. I didn’t regret coming to where I am right now. I am just not happy with myself. I am angry at myself for all the things I did and didn’t do. I blame myself for being so weak, so easy to crash.

I wished I could take everything in and still be strong because this time, I’m done pretending everything’s alright, no matter how much I assure myself things will be fine, and that everything will be okay because it is not okay. I am not doing well, I am screwing everything up and I am letting people down. I am not okay, I want to be okay. I still want to believe that there’s still a slightest hope in life. I want to not be a disappointment.

Just because there are no expectations does not mean there’s no stress.
It’s even worst to know they’ve already let you go, totally forgetting your existence.

I am just at one of the lowest point in life, right now.

PS: I hate being alone. It makes me think of all the possible negativity in life, even death.

boy, you really changed my life ;)

2010-09-16T00:45:00.000+08:00

We’re really close. People asked me “Would you ever like him?”, but I lie and tell them I would never like you. Once my friend asked me if I was thinking about you and I said no, but I was. I hope you were thinking about me, too.

I know I seem a bit hypocritical right now, but you don’t understand, I’m so happy with him, and I want to spend my time with him. Sometimes I don’t even realize it, but I’m sorry, I don’t mean it that way. I just can’t help it.

I don’t hate you. I’m just tired of all the constant pain, second guessing and confusion that I’ve had for months on end. I distanced myself from the causes, I’m sorry that it had to be you. But, I did it for my own good. I would do anything, anything at all to make this better. But I’m breaking, and I need to change something. I still love you, no matter what like I promised. I would never hate you. I could never hate you.

Here We Go Again

2010-09-12T23:39:00.002+08:00

Sometimes I just wanna be impulsive enough to get on a plane/bus and vanish off

to a certain place, no one knows me.

Not leaving any notes or message.

just disappear

not for the attention.

just to get away from everything here.

Men.

they always seem to be able to fuck your life upside down

they call it unintentional.

I call it their fucking nature.

not insulting but yeah.

when they're too good. We complain

when they're too bad. We complain too.

I admit maybe we, ladies, are hard to please.

But men are the same no?

Why can't we have some equilibrium in them?

Why no optimal attitude men?

WHY!?

maybe I'm generalizing all men right now but just let me rant.

I haven't been ranting a lot in my blog.

get lost if you can't stand it. I am PMSing ==

When I want to go back, you call me dependent on my family and complain.

When I decide to stay, you pretend I'm non-existent and shove me right to one corner.

When I go out with new friends, you think I treat you as a rebound boy.

When I ask you out, you are never free for me.

When I don't, you think I'm good enough to fly on my own & start teasing me bout it.

WTF IS IT THAT YOU REALLY WANT!?

FUCKING TELL ME!

I am never fighting back cause I thought men are always like that.

But sometimes, I just need you to initiate.

I need you to make me feel like I'm something.

Even if it's just a very small part.

At least make me feel wanted.

I may be harsh on words but if right now, you're going to ask me if I'm free for you, I will always be there, never once have I said no to you. Never once.

I may be pissed but the very next day, I will still be here for you when you need me.

I'm just a call away.

fml.

done ranting.

10 things lovers should know.

2010-09-10T01:51:00.002+08:00

I am, in no way, admitting to dexterity and wisdom in relationships since I’ve had my fair share of retributions, jealousy over other girls and irrational outbursts. This list is based solely on what I think and according to what I observe in my present relationship and in others as well.

10. Take the bad and make it good. If it rains on a perfectly planned date, take off your stilettos and rubber shoes and get drenched. But if you’re too adamant to get too intimate with a harmless drizzles share an umbrella or a jacket and try avoiding puddles. If you’re out of money and out of luck in a once in a lifetime event, snuggle with your partner in a couch and go on movie marathons instead. Not only were you able to enjoy the supposedly ugly conditions, you were also able to weather together.

9. Be spontaneous. Show up at your special someone’s school/workplace without letting him/her know. Thrust a single-stemmed flower in front of him/her or treat him/her to dinner just because. There’s no need for a reason to surprise your loved one. Just don’t overdo it. Surprises tend to be routinary when done almost everyday. :)

8. When angry, sleep on it. Skip the cliche of never going to bed angry. It’s utterly and despicably false. As a female, I always had the innate urge to get things (i.e. issues) closed and packed up for a fresh start the next day. I want to cope with the whole problem today. Not tomorrow. Or the next day after that. But as I said, confronting problems at the exact same day when you’re stressed and raging with emotions always end up in a bigger fight and the anger ignited all the more. I should know.

7. Screw romance—a little. Whatever those paperback novels embedded in your mind aren’t always realistic. So let’s backtrack and stick to pragmatism. Never expect every single day with your special someone to be the same I-feel-butterflies-and-electricity-coursing-through-my-nerves-when-we-touch thing because it won’t. But don’t rule out romance. It’s vital but not as often. In my case, what I feel is security and happiness. On other days, when my beau is as sweet as my mom’s broken glass window dessert, I just feel like an eleven-year old swooning over her long-time crush. :)

6. Screw romance—a little. Part II. Although looking for that spark and intense combustion is inevitable (I hear ya ladies), the same feeling can be acquired when watching out for FUN in lieu of ROMANCE. Instead of fancy dinner dates and violins, have a water gun fight or a barbecue eating contest. Challenge each other in games you both adore (i.e. basketball, dota) and have pillow fights on the way. You’re not only keeping that “spark” alive, you’re also having fun without a dash of pretense at all.

5. Flair up those imperfections. Whether it’s my gap-tooth(which I hate) or my lisp(which I hate even more), my beau continues to adore me. Lesson? Whatever those flaws you think will discourage the apple of your eyes, try to act naturally confident with them. They may be imperfection in your eyes, but in your partner’s, they’re the quirky part of you s/he’ll never get over teasing you with. :) And we love a good tease don’t we?

4.Get your own social circle. Don’t let your world revolve around your loved one. It’s either you will scare her away because of your obsession (was that her hair under your pillow?) or because you choke him with your possessiveness (I need space! I need space! I need—-Arrrrrghhh!). The downward spiral will hit you so fast, you’ll only have time to bid adieu. Instead, bond with your friends (that s/he knows and trusts) without your special someone.

3. Do new things together. Go to dance classes or painting lessons. Learn how to cook or sew. Go skydiving or bungee jumping. Donate your time to charities or spend the afternoon cleaning some aged neighbor’s backyard. The point is, do it with your partner. The experience will not only thrill you, you can also spend the time getting to know each other. :)

2. Laugh like tomorrow is Armageddon. Nothing cures a sour day than a heavy bunch of laughter dipped with the glaze of humor and smiles. And nothing douses lovers’ quarrel than a good joke to stir up laughter. Laughing trips make the relationship stronger and more enjoyable. :)

1. Communicate. A lot. Whether you’re on a long-distance relationship or you’re close to each other (just like myself), the key is to communicate a lot. And don’t talk about the superficial stuff (i.e.our neighbor’s sister’s niece, your cousin’s mistress’ secretary)—although you can use some of them to determine a person’s personality and attitude—unless it directly affects the both of you. Talk about yourselves. Your dreams. Ambitions. Future goals. Motto. Your thoughts on love and relationships. If you can’t talk about these stuff now, then how can you talk about the more important issues in the future??

let all this end here

2010-08-27T23:36:00.005+08:00

Remember when everything was colourful?

I wished I could see things better.
I wished I could pretend everything is alright.
I wished I knew what was wrong from the beginning.
I wished I wasn't so weak.
I wished I could bring more happiness to peoples' lives.
I wished I was still able to make all your worries go away.

But it doesn't matter now.

I am sorry.

back

2010-08-06T02:18:00.002+08:00

I came back a week ago.

Was very sick.

actually I still am sick.

very very bad cough & sorethroat :(

oh well, follow me on tumblr & twitter!

I update there more often than I do in my blog.

Sorry!

Tumblr

Twitter

Hello Holiday :|

2010-07-21T04:26:00.002+08:00

I've been listening to lots of K-Pop lately and came across some that have significant meaning to me. Could simply relate to the song without searching for the lyrics.

I've posted two of the songs lyrics translation before writing this post.

Go listen to them & tell me what you think.

anyway, I will be away for a week for a holiday with the parents.

A week of pure isolation.

A week of bonding with the parents.

A week of no SMS, BBM, MSN & Facebook.

A week of getting away from the busy life.

A week of non-guilty shopping pleasures?

I will definitely miss them friends.

Not to mention both my brothers who will be staying in this trip.

Oh well =)

wait for me, I'm only a week away!

Yesung - It Has To Be You

2010-07-21T04:13:00.002+08:00

English translation of the lyrics

Today, I wander in my memory

I’m pasing around on the end of this way

You’re still holding me tightly, even though I can’t see you any more

I’m losing my way again

I’m praying to the sky I want see you and hold you more

that I want to see you and hold you more

It can’t be if it’s not you

I can’t be without you

It’s okay if I’m hurt for a day and a year like this

It’s fine even if my heart’s hurts

Yes because I’m just in love with you

I cannot send you away one more time

I can’t live without you

It can’t be if it’s not you

I can’t be without you

It’s okay if I’m hurt for a day and a year like this

It’s fine even if my heart’s hurts

Yes because I’m just in love with you

my bruised heart

Is screaming to me to find you

where are you?

Can’t you hear my voice?

to me…

If I live my life again

If I’m born over and over again

I can’t live without you for a day

You’re the one I will keep

you’re the one I will love

I’m … yes because I’m happy enough If i could be with you

SS501 - Love Ya

2010-07-21T03:59:00.006+08:00

English translation of the lyrics

Yeah here we go once again

Guess who’s back, let’s go

This one is all about you

I really hate you but i love you

So what can i do? Now listen

My heart aches when i see you, i can’t breathe, hold my hand.

He doesn’t love you, so why?

Why don’t you get it?

Baby let me

Love ya, love ya, love ya

I am risking everything, i put a spell, ‘we can be so perfect’

I can’t live without you even if the world will turn against me

I can’t live without you.

Baby let me

Love ya, love ya, love ya

I am sorry but i have been waiting for this moment,

I have been wanting forever,

That your long-time love would end.

Forget about him and wash him off from your mind.

He’s not meant to be with you.

So baby won’t you come to me,

I’ll make you make you happy

I am risking everything, i put a spell, ‘we can be so perfect’

I can’t live without you even if the world will turn against me

I can’t live without you.

Baby let me

Love ya, love ya, love ya

At first, i wanted you to be happy

Even the man you are with can’t be me.

I have believed that all i needed is for you to be happy.

But i see tears in your eyes, i see sadness in you.

I can’t hold back anymore, I’m now getting crazy.

I cannot let it go, i gotta take you

This is our destiny yeah

I am risking everything, i put a spell, ‘we can be so perfect’

I can’t live without you even if the world will turn against me

I can’t live without you.

Baby let me

Love ya, love ya, love ya

Why don’t you know? Why that man?

I can’t see you being so sad anymore.

Please forget about the love that makes you ache,

Put away, please! I am going to save you from that aching love.

My heart tears apart when i see you shedding your tears

Without a reason, i can cross over the sea.

Trust me, i call heaven to witness

That this will be our last love yeah

My heart aches when i see you,

I can’t breathe,

My heart aches

He doesn’t love you, so why?

Why don’t you get it? Baby let me

Love ya love ya love ya

I am risking everything, i put a spell, ‘we can be so perfect’

I can’t live without you even if the world will turn against me

I can’t live without you, baby let me.

Love ya, love ya, love ya

Let me love you baby!

I can’t live without you,

Not without you…

sometimes I just..

2010-07-20T22:22:00.002+08:00

Sometimes you gotta run away so you can see who will run after you, sometimes you gotta talk quieter just to see who’s listening, sometimes you gotta step up in a fight just to see who’s standing by your side, sometimes you gotta make a wrong decision only to see who’s there to help you fix it, and sometimes you gotta let go of the one you love just to see if they love you enough to come back to you.

I must learn to be happy

2010-07-20T03:13:00.004+08:00

One text from you can make my whole day better. This is how I know we should probably never see each other or talk again. I can not rely on you for the rest of my life to make me happy and be miserable when you give me nothing.

I need to learn how to make myself happy without you.

I love you

2010-07-20T01:44:00.002+08:00

I love you means that I accept you for the person that you are, and that I do not wish to change you into someone else. It means that I will love you and stand by you even through the worst of times. It means loving you even when you’re in a bad mood, or too tired to do the things I want to do. It means loving you when you’re down, not just when you’re fun to be with. I love you means that I know your deepest secrets and do not judge you for them, asking in return that you do not judge me for mine. It means that I care enough to fight for what we have and that I love you enough not to let go. It means thinking of you, dreaming of you, wanting and needing you, and hoping you feel the same way for me.

the doodle is damn cute right? :D

visit happy monsters for more!

Latest Malaysia Car Website

2010-07-12T17:06:00.002+08:00

Want to buy Malaysia used cars but don’t know where to start? Fret not! Now we have Carsifu to assist you to look for your most idealistic & perfect Malaysia used cars. Carsifu is a newly launched website with hundreds of cars ready to be sold all over Malaysia.

Carsifu is here to help you through the whole process of looking for the right car. Through Carsifu, looking for your ideal car will be so much easier as you do not have to waste time, going out of the house, travelling under the hot sun to look for your ideal car. You can easily look through the pictures from the Carsifu website and also the description of the car & the most important thing is that, you can do it ANYWHERE, as long as there is internet. This definitely helps save the time of the buyer and seller. You can easily access Carsifu and leave comment if you are interested in the car, but in order to leave a comment, you must sign up as a member first, don’t worry, it is completely FREE to register an account in Carsifu.

Yes everyone, it is as easy as that.

I have personally registered an account in Carsifu and have browsed through some potential cars I want to buy, the only thing left now is the father’s permission to buy a car! Heeee. This is probably one of the easiest site to browse through the Malaysia used cars.

just one night

2010-06-25T03:56:00.000+08:00

hidden pain

2010-06-23T21:50:00.003+08:00

Addison: Nobody beat me. Nobody tried to steal my baby. Nobody stabbed me, but…I am wounded, Sam.

Sam: Noah?

Addison: [sighs] My heart is broken. And I shouldn’t even complain about it, because nothing happened. Nothing happened to me, not like what happened to the Larsons or Violet. You know, sometimes I’m almost jealous of them? Because everybody can see their injuries so they have a right to be messed up. I sent Noah back to his wife and I did the right thing and my heart is ... broken.

-Private Practice

I guess this is why people try their hardest not to underestimate the pain others feel, no matter whether or not they seem fine. Some injuries aren't always visible to the naked eye.

mystified

2010-06-21T19:22:00.000+08:00

I don't know what to say anymore. My mind runs blank every time I open up the page where I used to spill my heart. I used to have so much to say, now I can barely write a sentence. It's you. You have the affect on me. You walked into my life, and I can't find a place for you just yet. I'm lost for words, yet my heart is screaming with the things I want to say to you.

Sometimes, I feel a little jealous inside imagining someone can please you more than me. I guess it’s just my insecurities acting up a bit, because I know I’m not the most beautiful, most fun, or even the most exciting person you’ll ever meet.

And I know it sounds confusing, but at that moment, I just wanted to walk out of the room I was in, sit down in the middle of the hallway, and cry. Just cry.

Nobody knows a lot about me.

They think they do, but they have no idea.

Nobody really knows me, because nobody asks.

And the fact that nobody asks makes me think, do they even really care?

Do you care? Ask yourself.

If you really care for someone, you'd ask them.

Even a simple 'how are you?' will do.

You won't know how much a simple 'how are you?' can make someone's day.

because this is what I am (no matter what you say or do)

2010-06-20T23:01:00.002+08:00

I’m a girl.
I have feelings.
I overreact.
I underestimate.
I overestimate.
I over think everything.
I look too deep into everything’s meaning.
I dream big.
My expectations are high.
I can tell when I’m being lied to but sometimes I wish I didn’t.
Yes I get jealous, and I’m always scared I’ll lose you.
That’s why when I ask how you are I mean it.
When I ask how was your day, I genuinely want to know.
And when I say I love you, I’m ~~not~~ lying.

I’ve always avoided fights.
I make jokes instead.
I tell people what they want to hear in order to avoid a confrontation.
I pretend to want things I don’t want, and I pretend not to want things I do want.
No one gets hurt.
~~Except me.~~
The lines are so crossed and blurred at this point that I don’t know what I want.
I just know I want it to be easy.

If whatever you do or say makes you happier.
Go ahead, I won't comment, I won't fight back.
I'm too tired or you can say I'm a loser, a coward, or/and a failure.

distance = problems

2010-06-19T23:03:00.004+08:00

I sleep intermittently, for hours on end and some days hardly at all. I watch movies and listen to songs that break my heart. It doesn’t really matter because I’ve gotten better at hiding, but some days not so well. People get tired. Yet in reality I think no one really cares to hear anything less than “I am fine”. Someday (perhaps in a good way) I might even forget how to feel.

I’m in a love affair without a love song. I’m in the habit of having what I don’t want. I’m just a hologram. You can see but don’t touch me. Oh, and how I bet you want me now.

I think that possibly, maybe I’m falling for you. Yes, there’s a chance that I’ve fallen quite hard over you. I’ve seen the waters that make your eyes shine, now I’m shining too because, oh because I’ve fallen quite hard over you. If I didn’t know you, I’d rather not know. If I couldn’t have you, I’d rather be alone. I never knew just what it was about this old coffee shop I love so much, all of the while I never knew it was you.

life like this

2010-06-19T15:41:00.002+08:00

Life changes. You get it all lined up just the way you like it & then something beyond your control comes along & bumps you off center. How nice it would be if you could get everything just the way you want it & say, 'Okay, now, stay.' But nothing stays the same. You grow up, make friends, lose friends, go to college, lose track of people, meet new ones, & sometimes you ask yourself why. But all I can tell you is the every single experience you go through like this changed you in some way. Every new person who comes into your life changes you. Every moral dilemma or emotional experience you come up against changes you. It's your job you decide how. That's how character is developed.

A nurse once told me that wounds will not heal if you urgently put band aid on it. Sometimes you just have to let it bleed, give it some space for healing & when you think your wounds are already cleansed, that's the time you can use a band aid for it. Remember: the more you cover yourself from pain, the more infected you are.

now I understand the meaning she literally meant.

you are not the only one

2010-06-13T23:34:00.003+08:00

cause honestly.

I am immune.

believe it or not.

life fucks you from every side possible.

I've been through worst :D

& in the end, I'm the pragmatic survivor.

anyway, check up on the regular updates in twitter.

I won't be blogging much bout daily happenings :x

too lazy.

2010-06-13T15:17:00.004+08:00

I think I've been very possessive lately.

when I say very, I mean seriously, extremely.

the thing isn't even mine, why am I even overreacting?

besides, I choose not to buy it myself

Why am acting like some lunatic obsessive compulsive disordered person?

urgh. I think I'm contradicting myself a lot these days.

usually I'll ignore it & pretend it doesn't exist

but now, I want to go all ...

"assholes, catch your own wave, stop indirectly pretending to want to accidentally like what I like..."

I'm not even gonna further explain it with an anger like this.

Seriously. I might end up bombarding the world :(

I should go back to sleep and buy my ALDO shoes in my dream.

I know you know what I'm talking about,

A little competition now & then create a little sparks :)

the me, in randomness

2010-06-12T15:02:00.003+08:00

to be completely honest.

I am a huge pathetic selfish egoistic bossy bastard

I do whatever I want whenever I want

I couldn't be bothered about what people feel

I am overly sensitive in certain issue

I like to hurt people (feeling wise) so I don't feel intimidated

I have commitment phobia

I always want things people can't have

I get jealous as easy as ABC

I enjoy making people feel envious whenever I can

I like getting attention but when given, I feel shy

I only socialize so I don't feel left out

I want to do something notorious in the future

I hate feeling bitter

i am f?cking random this morning

I want to go back to sleep

the fear in me

2010-06-01T23:50:00.002+08:00

because I'm scared I'll lose my freedom

because I've been like this for so long

because I'm afraid of changes

because I don't want to be too dependent

last but not least

maybe, just maybe, because I dare not admit you might just be that one person.

I just want to believe

2010-05-31T00:29:00.001+08:00

I remember when I used to be the nicest girl.

I remember being ordered around.

I remember doing all the things and let others claim credit for it.

I remember how I used to not say bad things about people.

I remember not complaining about life.

I remember when I used to listen to my parents all the time.

I remember being the goody two shoes.

I remember the times when I was so scared to piss people.

the picture taken 4 years ago

All of a sudden, I became total opposite of it.

Contradicting everything I've done since before.

I used to be so weak, I would cry in school whenever someone call me fat or ugly.

I used to be very religious & holy.

So many 'I-used-to-bes' now makes me wonder, if what I've become now is really what I really want, or am.

There's just one moment where life hits you so hard, you don't know who to turn to, don't know what to do at all & it fucking kills you from the inside, slowly, just taking away all the good things that happened, and making you doubt if this world is really full of happy endings or true love.

Have you ever wondered if you were given a chance to choose to do something and not fail at all, what will you choose?

Just anything at all.

Untold, unfolded

2010-05-25T18:40:00.004+08:00

Went to class late today, 30 minutes? Lingam was busy fetching more students, I don't blame him. Everyone have class too, not just me, cannot be too selfish no? pfft.

LLS seem pretty interesting lately, having Franklin on Monday & Eric today, both were so funny and entertaining, the class were pretty entertained having them to replace Justin for the two days. Anyway Mr Eric shared with the class a pretty funny this morning, the coolest thing is he shouted FUCK YOU right across the class without censoring it, that's what I call freedom of speech? :X i like him, I do not like those conservative lecturers who will go all, I cannot say this and that in front of my students, too dilly dally :/ anyway here's the joke :x

A crowded United Air Lines flight was cancelled. A single agent was assigned to rebook a long line of unhappy inconvenienced travelers. She was doing her best when suddenly an angry customer pushed his way to her desk. He slapped his ticket down on the counter and shouted: "I don't want to stand in line. I HAVE to be on this flight and it has to be FIRST CLASS and RIGHT NOW!"

The young agent replied, "I'm sorry, sir, I'll try to help you but I've got to help these folks first. I'm sure we'll be able to work things out for you." The angry passenger was unimpressed and unrelenting. He asked loudly, so that all the passengers could hear, "I don't want to stand in line! Do you have any idea who I am?"

Without hesitation, the agent smiled and grabbed her public address microphone. "May I have everyone's attention, please," her voice bellowed through the terminal. We have a passenger here WHO DOES NOT KNOW WHO HE IS. If anyone can help him identify himself, please come to the gate." With the crowd laughing hysterically, he glared at her and swore "Fuck you!"

Without flinching, she smiled an said, "I'm sorry, sir, even if you want to fuck me, you will still have to stand in line!"

Its really entertaining if we have classes like this, everyday.

I wouldn't dread for class, or even complain after class.

buhhh !

first week in second sem

2010-05-24T00:41:00.005+08:00

I go out a lot since I came back KL

almost everyday, too hyper active?

all I know is that hyper bitch mode activated since Saturday.

As everyone know, I'm a generally nice girl.

TEE HEE I DO NOT BITCH UNNECESSARILY

note the unnecessarily.

pictures to sum the week :| (pictures from the BB9000)

@ King's Starbucks

yes, I need to wear specs now :( pfft

roommate, gym partner, bitching comrade ♥

my first time on bus in KL :O

Girls' Evening OUT

COTTON ON :O

met this sad kid @ One U

habituation

2010-05-20T00:41:00.004+08:00

I hate getting used to people. Once they’re not around, I start missing them. Just so you know, I miss you today & maybe tomorrow & maybe the day after tomorrow.

hello I'm back

2010-05-19T23:04:00.003+08:00

Two weeks term break is over & semester2 started on Monday. Horrible time table -.- thank God it is a short semester. In these two months, I'm not going back Penang, need to start getting used to the whole leaving home thingy. The whole two weeks break almost turned me back to the homesick girl back when I just arrived KL, oh well.

I know I haven't been updating much, been too caught up with assignments and finals before, then holidays back in Penang, the KL friends came over to visit Penang, entertained them for four days straight. FULL TIME SOMEMORE :X they better be proud, pffft. The rest of the holidays were spent with family & loved ones ;) oh, PENANG FOOD TOO.

My camera have been pretty rusty, been taking pictures but too lazy to upload it. There are a few albums in Facebook anyway.

Will start picspamming soon.

Where To Find Room To Let?

2010-05-12T20:00:00.001+08:00

Looking for a room to let in Malaysia yet don’t know where to begin? Don’t worry! Caribilik is here to help you through the whole process of searching for the right room to let. Caribilik is Malaysia’s largest website with thousands of rooms available for rent/to let all over Malaysia.

With Caribilik now, you do not have to search for your ideal room the conventional way. You do not have to drag yourself under the hot sun to find a suitable room or waste time travelling around just to find a perfect room. You can just browse through the rooms online, just about ANYWHERE with internet! All you have to do is register an account, don’t worry, it’s FREE! After that, you can browse through the website as an advanced user!

I personally think Caribilik is one of the best creation ever as student like me do not have much time going around, looking for suitable rooms to rent, so with Caribilik, everything is made easy!

To Forget You

2010-04-23T02:33:00.002+08:00

Before I met you, I wondered why all the lyrics in love songs were so exaggerated: Why do lyricists create such mushy and overemotional sentences? Why can’t they just write a good melody without those melodramatic lyrics? That is plain exaggeration.

Before I fell in love with you, I thought romance novels were just so silly: Why would a person cry for another person for hours? How could a person wait for his lover for years? That is plain silliness.

Before we became a couple, I thought romance movies were just so stupid: How could a person love another person so deeply that it became an obsession? How could one sacrifice so much, even to the extent of his own life, for his lover? That is plain stupidity.

When I realized I had fallen so deeply in love with you, I finally understood that songs, novels and movies are just reflections of life, inspired by the writers’ true stories.

Because when I decided to end our relationship, I realized our story mirrors a love song that I once heard, a novel you once read and a movie we once watched.

Low Kay Hwa

impulsive one

2010-04-17T02:16:00.003+08:00

just because I am not there, it doesn't mean I don't know

just because I didn't say yes, it doesn't mean I meant no

just because I stopped talking, it doesn't mean I didn't want to

just because I never said anything, it doesn't mean I don't care

this is why we didn't happen.

this is what I know will happen.

you're such an egoistic bipolar idiot.

~~&Ilikeyouforbeingsuchanegoisticbipolaridiot~~

I can't believe it's happening to me, some people wait a lifetime for a moment like this

2010-04-14T19:57:00.009+08:00

She thinks about you nonstop and you're all she talks about. When she talks to you she always has that goofy smile and she truly looks happy. With one hug, you make her melt and you always leave her with butterflies, but at the same time, when she's upset it's usually because of you, but she refuses to see any bad in you & no matter how many people try and tell her different, she believes you're perfect for her and worth every second of the wait, but she's too scared to tell you any of this because she doesn't want to screw anything up and doesn't want to end up hurt.

last goodbye

2010-04-10T23:53:00.002+08:00

Dear boy ♥

You honestly don't know how much I'm going to miss those texts that woke me up early in the morning and kept me up late at night, or those warm hugs you gave me when I thought the world was crashing down. You don't know that I would kill for you to give me your sweatshirt to wear and keep like old times. I will miss when I get those tiny little annoying butterflies I got when you looked at me, & also the times when you'll just drop by with Starbucks coffee even knowing how much I hate drinking it. Finally, you will never know how much I am going to miss you.

Love girl ♥

guardian angel

2010-04-09T00:14:00.002+08:00

I'm done.

with you & everything.

I hide myself away from you

pretending nothing ever existed.

I really think it's not important anymore.

this will be the last.

life is just too harsh

cause I believe...

2010-03-30T22:56:00.002+08:00

i think everyone, at some point, goes through that one moment where they think "my God, i can't do this."

but you know what? you can.

no matter how close you are to the edge,

no matter how badly you feel like giving up,

or think it's best to do so rather than have to put up with the pain - don't.

don't lose hope that things will get better.

don't give up, because there is someone out there who will make you smile in a way no one else ever could.

keep that glimmer of hope alive in your heart,

because someone is out there searching for your smile.

so wipe your tears and keep your head held high.

the (inside) story

2010-03-29T23:46:00.002+08:00

Do you ever get that feeling where you don't want to talk to anybody?

You don't want to smile and you don't want to fake being happy.

But at the same time you don't know exactly what's wrong either.

There isn't a way to explain it to someone who doesn't already understand.

If you could want anything in the world it would be to be alone.

People have stopped being comforting and being alone never was.

At least when you're alone no one will constantly ask you what is wrong

& there isn't anyone who won't take 'I don't know' for an answer.

You feel the way you do just because. You hope the feeling will pass soon

& that you will be able to be yourself again,

but until then all you can do is wait.

＊　＊　＊　＊　＊

Silly boy;

of course I like you.

It's because I like you that I don't want to be with you.

It's a complicated emotion.

You piss me off.

You piss me off a lot, everyday.

I can't even tell you how many times I’ve wanted to knock some sense into that big egoistic head of yours.

You push me to my limits and maybe even farther,

but this is what makes me so absolutely crazy about you.

Does that even make any sense at all?

Just one day, you & I will finish our unfinished business.

& maybe fall madly in love again.

Luxury Property in KL

2010-03-27T23:07:00.002+08:00

The real-estate and property market is rising slowly in Malaysia and many of the real-estate and property agencies are all setting up websites to keep up with the technology we have. One of the websites I find quite interesting and useful would have to be Propwall.

Propwall is an online real-estate and property website which provides informative platform for those looking for house, condominium, apartment, office, shop lots and other properties. The website offer very detailed information about the properties. Personally, I think the website offers more luxury properties in KL as most of the ads I’ve browsed through are basically houses I probably can’t buy right now, nor rent, unless I hit the jackpot or something. No doubt, Propwall provides KL properties ads, as they have every section, from pictures (which is speak a thousand word compared to the word description), to the property detail & layout to the Analysis of the property as well. Besides KL, you can also search properties in your desired area using their search engine. Pretty impressive ey?

Overall, Propwall is very helpful and convenient especially nowadays as most of us don’t have time to roam around town looking for real estate. I remember browsing through their website looking for a house to rent as I was too lazy to drag my ass out of the house under the hot sun LOL :x

things that matter

2010-03-23T01:18:00.004+08:00

Assignments/Presentations yet to due:

~~MC100 Group Task~~

~~MC100 Meeting Minutes~~

~~MC100 Resume/CV~~

MC100 Group Presentation

PSY105 Group Presentation

PSY105 Research Proposal (peer reviewED)

~~PSY113 Assignment 3~~

PSY113 Literature Review

PSY111 Lab Report

i believed

2010-03-22T19:36:00.002+08:00

" I believed what you said,

But love doesn't have a meaning

When you hurt me so bad

Just threw it all away

You knew I was scared

To once more let you get that close to me

Despite what you did

I believed... "

-Melissa Smith

too many let down in a week

I forgotten how painful it feels now

everything basically feel the same

I am dying to fight all these

but...

it really doesn't matter anymore

when was the last time

2010-03-19T03:06:00.002+08:00

you feel happy, for yourself?

I don't know

sometimes, there's just so much one can do
there are always restrictions pulling you back from what you really want

what can I say?

I tell myself everyday that my world don't revolve around you all the time
truth is, I lied.
my world is spinning, turning upside down and it's all for you.
then again, who am I to tell you all these?
last time I remembered, I screwed things up pretty badly.

I'm sorry.

maybe it is redemption month after all..

of cold, misty & good friends

2010-03-14T14:01:00.002+08:00

the girls

the People

the boys (minus YZ)

teammates!

went Genting with the People on Friday

one night trip

initially they were suppose to come KL

something happened, oh well

had a blast with them :)

pictures are all up in facebook anyway.

feel free to check ! :)

for now, back to assignments.

goodbye *tears

If one day...

2010-03-11T00:05:00.002+08:00

I were to die

will you remember me?

will you come to my funeral?

will you even know my name?

will you realise that I'm gone?

will you?

at times, I just feel like blasting my speakers to the max.

The loudness clearing up the background voices.

It is way more peaceful like that.

This whole situation is really draining all my energy.

I do not like to be stuck in between the past, wasting my life on this.

It is not worth it.

but there's just nothing much I can do.

&& assignments are piling up.

I'm really not sure how/what to do ~~first~~ at all.

EBSCOHOST is being a big bitch.

seriously.

I do not know how that damn thing even work

gotta figure them soon.

so many journals to read :(

You & I - Park Bom

2010-03-09T14:52:00.004+08:00

No matter what happens

Even when the sky is falling down

I’ll promise you

That I’ll never let you go

Oh...Oh.. Oh... oh.. Oh... oh.. Yeah...

You, When I fell

you held me back up with an unfaltering gaze

And You, through those sad times

held my hands till the end of the world

I might be a shabby person who has never done anything for you

But today, I am singing this song just for you

Tonight, within those two eyes and a smile

I can see the pains from protecting me

You and I together. It’s just feels so right

Even though i bid you goodbye, to me this world is just you

You and I together, don’t ever let go of my hands

even though i bid you goodbye, to me this world is just you

Our love has changed a bit by bit just like others

But don’t be sad

Hopefully I will be someone who you can trust like an old friend

and someone you can lean onto

I promise you that I’m be right here baby

I might be a shabby person who has never done anything for you

But today, I am singing this song just for you

Tonight, within those two eyes

and smile I can see the pains from protecting me

You and I together. It’s just feels so right

Even though i bid you goodbye, to me this world is just you

You and I together, don’t ever let go of my hands

even though i bid you goodbye, to me this world is just you

I close my eyes lightly whenever I feel lonely again

I no longer fear when your breath holds me

No one in the world can replace you

You are the only one in I’ll be there for you baby

You and I together, It’s just feels so right

Even though i bid you goodbye, to me this world is just you

You and I together, don’t ever let go my hands

even though i bid you goodbye, to me this world is just you

Just you and I

Forever and ever..

I really like this song now, the mv is cute.

Go search it up in Youtube if you haven't heard it.

ANYWAY, this is the TRANSLATIONed version of the lyrics.

it's really really cuteee! I like*

so...

2010-03-08T23:59:00.002+08:00

so you wondered why? let me tell you why.

I'll screw up. I'll push you away if we're getting too close. I won't trust you until you've proven yourself. I get hurt easily and take a lot of things personally. But I'll love you with everything I have, and if that isn't enough, then I'm not enough.

what say you?

2010-03-08T02:45:00.000+08:00

I burnt myself.
I couldn't control it.
It was the irresistible feeling of not knowing what will happen next.
the burning sensation, the adrenaline rush that makes you run for it.

I never thought I'd.
oh well

the bus not taken

2010-03-02T12:37:00.004+08:00

done with Research Methodology paper (well, just for midterms)

wasn't very good, seriously

I think I'm slowly getting used to ... not doing well wtf

but I mean seriously, MCQs aren't as easy as it sound

there are four or five close choices, super close, some even sound the same

today was unbearable, seriously.

walked from the main block to wisma, literally, walked, with LEGS wtf

just the right time to walk, right?

7.50 am : reaches main block bus stop, small HELP shuttle bus drove off but there are still a lot of students waiting.

8.00 am : HELP shuttle bus, the big yellow school bus, came, everyone rushed to it, couldn't be bothered to force myself with 80++ over students there

8.05 am : mini HELP shuttle bus arrived, it's so small it can only fit 25 max! couldn't get up the bus either.

8.08 am : Sof & Cassandra suggested we might as well just walk to class, since the waiting was unbearable and there were more students coming... blah

8.15 am : walked out of the main block from the FRONT GATE.

8.20 am : walked passed ESSO & Jes' place

8.25 am : walked passed Batai Hostel

8.30 am : saw Manulife building & HP Tower, almost liked you found a puddle of water in the desert, yes, it is that bad

8.35 am : climbed up the stairs to reach KPD block & walked to Wisma HELP, saw the big fat ugly yellow HELP shuttle bus passed by

8.40 am : reached the exam room, was 10 minutes late, was so soaked in sweat, my whole hair (which I just washed earlier in the morning) was wet like as if I just washed it, wtf

super FML moment

& did I mention when we walked, we kept walking uphill & there's no downhill?

it's not that steep but it is freaking tiring, for me laaaa

I have not even ate breakfast yet that time :(

now I appreciate the shuttle buses in HELP & the bus drivers so much.

I promise I'll be good next time & say more thank yous IF you(s) fetch me :P

Anyway, gotta crash now, so tired, my back is aching.

I have MC100 to study & PSY113 essay pending, due tomorrow!

DUE TOMORROW, who stupidly have assignment due the day before exam :(

then again, it's different subject so yeah, blah :(

have a gooood day everyone! *wavessss*

is it You?

2010-03-01T21:09:00.002+08:00

To love. To be loved. To never forget your own insignificance.

To never get used to the unspeakable violence and the vulgar disparity of life around you.

To seek joy in the saddest places. To pursue beauty to its lair.

To never simplify what is complicated or complicate what is simple.

To respect strength, never power. Above all, to watch. To try and understand.

To never look away. And never, never, to forget

I've been playing with fire too much.

I think I ~~accidentally~~ burnt myself in the course.

One moment, I'm perfectly fine, & another, I'm all distracted.

This time reminds me of... every other time

I know it's probably the wrong time to tell you this, but I just want you to know that if you ever need me, I'll always be here for you. All you have to do is ask.

Nothing means more to me than what we share, no one in this world can ever compare.

Desperately

2010-03-01T02:15:00.002+08:00

Something 'bout the way you looked at me
Made me think for a moment,
That maybe we were meant to be
Living our lives seperately
And it's strange that things change
But not me wanting you so desperately

Oh why can't I ignore it?
I keep giving it in but I should know better
'Cause there was something 'bout the way you looked at me
And it's strange that things change
But not me wanting you so desperately

You looked my way and said "you frustrate me"
Like you're thinking of lines and times
When you and I were you and me
We took our chance out on the street
Then I missed my chance
And chances are it won't be coming back to me

Why can't I ignore it?
I keep giving in, but I should know better
'Cause there was something 'bout the way you looked at me
And it strange that things change
But not me wanting you-

So desperately
So desperately

I keep giving in but I should know better
I keep giving in but I should know better
So desperately
I want you so desperately

counting the days to ...

2010-02-26T18:50:00.001+08:00

menghitung hari

detik demi detik

masaku nanti apa kan ada

jalan cerita

kisah yang panjang

menghitung hari

padamkan saja

kobar asmaramu

jika putik itu takkan ada

yang aku minta

tulus hatimu

bukan puitis

pergi saja cintamu pergi

bilang saja pada semua

biar semua tahu adanya

diriku kini sendiri

sitting in front of the laptop (again, everyday) listening to emo songs, typing this post, instead of studying my initial 9 chapters of PSY105 and 8 chapters of MC100 and finishing my PSY113 essay. I guess procrastinating is everyone's favourite hobby, lately. Especially when your exam is just right around the corner, like well 4 days?

seriously, I do not know what I'm doing here

I should be finishing the essay then start ~~speed~~ reading (studying, as they call it) the Research Methodology & Business Communication textbook :(

I'm not a thunder-lightning person (WHO IS! YOU TELL ME)

when I say I'm not, it meant I'll run & hide whenever I hear thunder, see lightning.

SERIOUSLY :(

I am freaking scared of them -.-

especially when I'm staying on the 18th floor now

The chances of it striking ~~anything/anywhere near~~ me are higher

I'm not joking.

I might just run & hide under the blanket now.

but no, I'm too lazy for that, cause I might just fall asleep underneath it.

I'm really sleepy now but I cannot go back to sleeping, it is 6.42pm and I just woke up from my second sleep of the day not long ago, like 3pm? wtf :|

sudden craving for bah kut teh and dim sum :(

whoever that bring me that anytime today, I'll love you all long time!

hehe I mean it *hint hint*

I should really go back to my assignment, long long way to go.

biopsych should be banned

2010-02-24T18:10:00.002+08:00

I moved from the 2nd floor to 18th floor.

Don't ask me why, I'm too lazy to explain.

Just went through one of the worst paper ever, Biopsychology.

Seriously, it is the worst paper, worst than last year's maths :(

25% for my whole sem, omgwtfbbqccbknn :(

50 questions, mean one question is like half mark.

I am only sure of what, 10 out of 50?

that's probably just 5% wtf out of 25% WTF!!

Motivation paper was do-able, there are some which I don't really know

but at least I was sure half of the paper was fine.

Biopsych is seriously... omgosh :( I really do not dare to get the results

I thought MCQs would be easy, boy, was I wrong, it was tougher.

There are 5 choices -.- all also I never hear before one, or all also damn close one.

damn fail larr rawr. Pek chek!! :(

The weather here is so hot, I am so pissed, everyday after class while I walk back to the room, it'll be like as if I'm sweating after a 10km run, seriously, it is THAT bad :( to make matter worst, my room only has aircond, no fan at all, I'm killing mothernature every day, I'm sorry, I know I am very contradicting lah, but no choice :(

sorry Earth! I still love you!

I am recycling everyday & I walk, everyday here, no petrol wasting.

see! I'm repaying back :x

but, I think my aircond is the HCFC (Hydrochlorofluorocarbon) one lor

the energy-efficient, cost effective & environment friendly thing :x

hee

anyway, midterms aren't over

i have two more papers, one next tues, another next thurs.

at least these two papers aren't that bad :(

stupid biopsych, I still have to study you in year 2 wtf

fml :(

i shall sleep now wtf its 6.27pm

so much for afternoon nap -.- turning out to be night nap :x

2010-02-05T11:51:00.002+08:00

I'm sorry I screwed up

there's really nothing much left to say

have you ever?

2010-01-19T15:08:00.005+08:00

Have you ever woke up one day feeling all uneasy?

Like the night before, you were having the time of your life

& the next morning, you're awake all down (worried, sad, sick, etc...)

I'm pretty sure everyone went through that :|

it can't be just me, it's kinda bipolar, I think.

I still miss my home every now and then.

but I'll be here for the next few years

Guess I'll have to learn to adapt changes in life.

This week marks the second week of university.

I feel old, seriously, university makes me feel old :(

then again... :/

Sometimes when I sit alone in this room, I wonder if I made the right decision.

To leave the place I called home for the past 18 years.

To leave the island where most (95% of) my family & friends gather.

To leave the heavenly paradise of food.

To come to this place, so new, so unhomely.

To gain lifetime experiences of being independent.

To let the parents worry so much of their only daughter's safety and all.

Have I really made the right decision?

Is it worth it all?

......

.....

....

...

After all its just KL.

*convincingggggg*

like hello, its only 4 hours driving or 45 minutes plane, from Penang.

Why the hell am I making it sound like I'm leaving to UK or US wtf.

wtf am i thinking?

I already decided to come, why am i doubting my decision this time?

KL isn't so bad I guess.

but there's no place like home ♥ ♥ ♥

PS: I MISS GENTING's CHEECHEONGFUN ^^V

the peanut butter smell and taste, the softness in your mouth.

the paste of which you can barely smell the strong prawn paste.

GENTING CHEE CHEONG FUN FTW!! :((

to you from me ♥

2010-01-18T03:02:00.002+08:00

Dear You,

I just have to tell you, I'm not so sure what I'd do without you. I know it's cold outside, but this late night is just no fun without you, and I just wanted to say thanks; you're the only reason I've smiled in days.

♥ Me

beginning

2010-01-17T01:03:00.002+08:00

I'm trying to slowly get used to life here right now.

Very different from Penang but I'll get a hang of it soon enough I guess.

I miss everyone back in Penang tho :(

KL isn't all that glamorous, seriously.

being the first few to leave Penang definitely suck

macam the first experiment kat KL :P
lol (:

anyway, I'm just updating cause I realised I haven't been blogging for a while

I missed blogging :(

will probably blog more now that I'm away from all distractions

gotta run.

2009-12-17T04:41:00.000+08:00

results came out

ha ha

i didn't fail

should be kinda happy right?

why am I not, at all?

this is then

2009-12-15T20:06:00.001+08:00

I just realised I haven't been updating my blog like I used to, last year, before SPM and all.

I do not really know why I just stopped, it's weird.

It's not like I'm totally busy :/

maybe I was, college, one year crash course, pre-university course = never easy :(

but I never regretted choosing SAM

ok this is suppose to be my come back post.

why?

because college ended, but no, I still don't get my long awaited holidays like I always say.

I am getting my results tomorrow, 6 am to be exact

after 11 months of studying, busy writing reports, doing assignments, tonnes of mini test and the MAJOR FINALS O.O

this is the time everyone is most afraid of

what we can do now is wish for the best and expect the worst

I'm actually an optimist but life sucks, you gotta add some pessimism to equalize it :P

I won't say I'll fair damn well

for now, I just hope to pass, I'd be really happy if i do :)

this year is coming to an end soon

like in a blink of the eye, its year end already :(

this year is definitely one of the best

this year :

1. I went for January intake despite the fact I told everyone January intake is for people who cannot wait to study -.-

2. I am maid-less, after 17 years of depending on maids, I'm finally maid-less.

3. I learned how to cook mee using a microwave (lame)

4. I got into my 1st accident

5. I met some amazing people

6. I sat in front of the comp for 16 hours straight doing assignment :(

7. I drifted and never die :P HAHAHAHAHAHAH

8. I turned legal =)

9. SAM NIGHT 2009 was made POSSIBLE :D and also SAM MAGAZINE ZOMG :P

10. I hiked up Penang Hill in the middle of the night :X

& etc etc :D

I can't believe its going to be over soooooooon!

arghhh.

anyway, I've been eating outside so much these days since my maid left.

I miss home made dishes, now I understand the important of homemade food.

*sighs

RESULTS IN 10 HOURS TIME. zzommmggggwtfbbqccbknnmcb :(

slit my wrist, cut my throat, take my heart.

MAKE ME BLIND :O i dare not look at the results laterrrrrrr :(

HELLO 2009, I have 16 more days with you.

I will miss you when you're gone, 2010 better be good :O

I'll blog more I guess :O

heheheheh. I'm like free, EVERYDAY :P